here, your curiosity is now sated

Yes, I went to Japan for 2 weeks. Yes, I came home. I'm tired of repeating the story over and over because basically it's just rubbing salt in an open wound that has yet to heal. So, here, in all it's glory are the many reasons I have made the trek home after dreaming of being in Japan for 3 years.

My situation, to sum it all up real fast, has been horrid.
I lived in a very tiny town without any transportation. No regular buses, trams, trains, etc...
The nearest large city was an hour and half away by car.
The bus that does run, has two times. One in the morning, one in the early afternoon. ALL during the hours I work. Problem: not solved.
I have a bike and that gets me to my office and schools in about 5-10 minutes from my apt. That's great and wonderful, but it doesn't solve the fact that I'm stuck in bumf*** nowhere without any transportation.

I don't have internet so I used an internet cafe for about 30 minutes every day at lunch which cost $3 every single time. I couldn't use my own computer, so I couldn't send pictures or anything personal. The internet issue is that they quoted me 7 months (yes, 7 MONTHS) to get internet in my apt. I'm so far out and they needed permission from my landlord to install a line, that they told me it would take that long.
No internet = no connection to family and friends.

I'm the only English speaker here and the only person under the age of 45. The high school students I'm supposed to teach must be bussed in from all over the tiny towns around my tiny town. Being the only English speaker is not the problem. The problem is being the only 25 year old in town. All the kids move to the city once they hit the university age so that left me utterly alone in a vastly aging town and a pachinko parlor in the supermarket.

My house smelled like cat urine and mold. There are moldy shapes forming in the wall. Mold is everywhere. My bathtub had the most disgusting lining of mold behind it. I don't see how living in that apartment wouldn't make anyone sick. Go look at my flickr if you want proof.

I feel isolated because there are no other people around that I can relate to or talk to. Even the older generation shun me off when they see me coming. I had a lady cross the street when she saw me riding towards her. With traffic coming and almost hitting her on top of it. I think I lived in a town that still feels anger towards Americans.

It's been a horrible experience, living wise. So, you may find that I'm at home now. I took a short leave which I'm allowed in my contract, and I was weighing my pros and cons of going back. The cons won. I sent an email to my boss specifying I be given a car so I can have some mode of transport and asked they find me some sort of internet connection. He emailed and told me that none of that was possible. My Board of Education thinks since I'm not Japanese, I'm a liability when it comes to driving. So, it sealed the fate of this.
JET gave me the shite end of a deal. My preference was Kyoto, and they gave me this. A girl with no preferences that roomed with me had been given Kyoto. So, I feel this program gave me a really horrible placement with really horrible options.

The other program I passed up, the one with less pay, but with my friend Graham, is having a great time. Because he's near transportation, things other than rice paddies and the local supermarket, other people his age, etc...
All the things I counted on having.

So, call me a failure if you will. I tried. I tried this and expected one thing and got the total bad end of the deal.
It's a hard road I've come to. I'm sick of the disappointments JET has given me. So sick of it.

I just need to breathe and try to let myself unwind after going through such a whirlwind and heartbreak. Having your dream shattered is not exactly an experience I would want anyone to have.

If they would have placed me in a city near a train station at least, I would have been happy. But, as luck would have it, I was given a remote tiny village with no transportation (unless I was given a car that I was denied), no peers, no internet or phone, and an old moldy and damp apartment.
I've learned a lot from the experience that's for sure. So, I feel a bit more positive about it now than I have for the last few days. My grandparents both feel that I made a difficult choice, but in the end, it's almost a choice I made for my own sanity.

Redeeming qualities?
My boss. Super awesome guy with a great sense of humor. I am more than upset to leave him.
The scenery. There is nothing quite equal to living in the mountains where everything is lush and green. But, watch out for those spiders.

Yup. So, I don't want to talk about it for a good while. If you ask, I think you might just get a grunt. I just got a job at Apple where I can focus my attention for a while. Then, if I feel the time has come to try again, I'll know to go with Joytalk because at least I'll be with peers, communication, transportation, and the Japan I loved the most.

Nobody really cares about this stuff anyways, but I just don't want to keep repeating myself from now on. It's hurt and it's gonna hurt for a while.

My night in Dark Armor

I've been trying to think about how to really articulate how much I loved this movie without making it over the top, but I have to be honest to myself. I loved this movie. I've listened to varying opinions, almost all of them not as ethusiastic as my own. But, I think that the Austinist did a good job in reviewing the movie because they got more than one person for their review:

Austinist Dark Knight review

I totally appreciate all opinions about the movie, I really do. It's just that I guess mine comes off as overly idealistic. But, I can't help it. I really, really loved this movie.

keep the lights on

M. Night Shyamalamdingdong

My review of the Happening:

falling in love all over again

the good the bad the weird

I can't freaking wait for this to come out. Or, considering I'll be in Japan, maybe I'll get to see it before it hits the states:



I also just watched "The Restless". Aka "Joong-cheon". Aka "Midheaven".
Whatever the hell it's called, it's a damn fantastic movie. Or I liked the hell out of it.

Woo-Sung Jung is my new asian heartthrob. He's now on par with Takeshi Kaneshiro. whew.

R.I.P. George Carlin 1937-2008

why, hello there. sexy french man.

So, I don't follow the worldwide track of the shit that is American Idol. The music of the "winners" all belong on some easy listening compilation CD, set between Michael Bolton and the mid-90's Richard Marx.
But, France has seemed to have gotten it right. Or at least, this guy came out winning and going a route that sounds like he was able to stick to his quirky, different sound.
It kinda helps he's nice to look at too.

Embedding is disabled so I get to link it. thffftpttt.

Julien Dore is kind of awesome

And Stephen, before you get your panties in a wad, watch the video. () He has a pocket knife just for you.

The video is kind of awesome anyways. It's so awesome there are 3 versions.

I'm so glad things like this exist in the world

Otherwise I would go insane.
Cutest Kitten ever
..

why have I never seen this?

Saigon kick in the face

Well, a lot of people won't agree, but I really don't care. Everyone has their tastes. This band has always been one of my favorites ever since my parents would blast it on the stereo system at home in the uber early 90's. I love this band and I think that "Love is on the Way" somehow pigeonholed them into a "ballad" band when in fact they are the complete opposite. I guess this is an insight into my true taste in music. Harmonies and rock and roll. Another band like this? Alice in motherfucking Chains. Both these bands hold true to my heart forever.

silly video, but awesome song:


set to some movie I haven't seen:




And...there most famous song:


this is a great song:

2007 in a nutshell

TOP MOMENTS

*Driving to Dallas to see MUSE. The show is up to par with my experience of the David Bowie concert.

*Seeing Joanna Newsom with the Austin Symphony Orchestra. It was just incredible. That girl is stunning. Musically and Physically.

*I finally applied for JET (The Japan Exchange and Teaching Program) that I've been talking about on and on for the last two years.

*I came out of my slump and focused on getting out of school. By doing this, I got 31 hours out of the way in just 2007 and I'm gonna finally graduate this may.

*I became immensely closer with some of my Japanese classmates. I hope these to be lifelong, but if not, they forever will hold a place in my heart.

*I have mostly lost the emotionally damaging and draining people in my life and have some more uplifting folk to be around.

*I got off that damned prescription to Ambien and do my best not to ever take it again.

*I bought my own laptop!

NOT SO TOP MOMENTS

*Going through that horrid slump and losing so much weight that people physically could tell something wasn't so right.

*Repercussions of ambien are not fun. Let's just put it at that.
-on a side not to this, I think ambien might have effected my short term and possible a little bit of my long term memory. I find myself having a more difficult time remembering things, especially for exams, etc...I find myself speaking and forgetting what I was saying in the middle of my sentences. Abusing ambien is no bueno.

*School kicked my ass. I was sleeping, eating, and doing schoolwork. I missed out on a lot of events due to tests, papers, etc...

*Applying for JET is nerve wracking and the wait is bothering me a bit. I just want to know if I at least scored an interview. Thinking about leaving my loved ones, including Kaya, is bothering me a lot.

*I'm still paying on that laptop.

I'm pretty sure there is a number of things I'm missing in this short list. I will add as I think them up, but so far this seems to be a good start. It's been one hell of a year and I hope 2008 will bring me a good year through and through. It's been a while since I've had one of those, and it'd be nice to have one again. I've learned a hell of a lot of life lessons the last 2 years. I want to learn some good life lessons this year.

New Year's Resolution?
Make my family proud. This has so many meanings at once, but it's the best way I can put it.

I really do hope 2008 will be a good year for me. Please?!?

happines defined

It's a video portion of my Japanese skit with my group members. The premise is that I've been kidnapped and to save me, my roommate must bake a cake. To get the ingredients , he has to fight a pirate dairy farmer, a ninja chicken farmer, and a zombie that has a potato sack race to win the flour. I end up really being the mastermind behind the whole thing and am the final boss. It was fun to do needless to say. But, it's hard to try and act in a language that is hard to speak fluently. Wang-san (ninja) did an amazing job.

I have a few requests for me to post this for easier access. If you watch the following, I apologize for my poor Japanese. I screw up a few times. The pauses are deliberate because there was a physical interaction with the video. Alright. yeah.

Sorry for the bad quality. It was a cell phone pic. But, the guy was super nice! He was just really laid back and relaxed and was really easy to talk to. I was pretty happy about the whole thing. Thankyou Erin for helping me out on this one!! I love you to death!