Long needed blog: coming soon

This is Chack. I know his real name, but he's my boss at one of my favorite schools.

This is Alice and Tina. Real names also known, but I won't give 'em because I dunno if it matters or not. Anywho, they are also bosses at one of my favorite schools.

These are just 3 people who I look forward to seeing weekly. They give me the push I need to get back on track and get out of my slump. The tall drink of water that has stolen Tina's hat (I stole Alice's) is also one of the things pulling me out of my slump.

Many photos of general life and general what's up in the near future. Now = bed.
Now I leave this entry with what you generally find behind the counter at a Japanese Starbucks serving your coffee:

Would you like a bun with my bun?
Aaaaaand..... Adieu.

Things are getting better?

Things are getting better. Day by day. Now that my kids classes are kind of becoming more routine, I find myself getting more and more comfortable with the classes and also less stressed like I was before. Though, one thing that is for sure is that I DO have nightmare classes and those are being dealt with or will be dealt with these coming weeks.
I get quite frustrated by some of the mothers here. I have a class of 7 rambunctious boys and one of their mothers complained I was too strict. The thing is, if I wasn't, these kids would go ape shit and basically I'm up shit creek for the rest of the year. It's also odd to her to have a female teacher for 7 boys and she's worried I'll teach them "Female English" and make them speak like a girl. The lady is a ridiculous cunt.

On the better side of things, I bought an oven. It's small, bakes enough for at least two people but it's so fantastic to have. I've now made crumble, a failed cobbler,  and mushroom chicken. I'm so excited to be able to BAKE!

I also am almost one year here in this country. It's had MAJOR ups and MAJOR downs, but I'm kinda finally getting into the swing of things a bit. It took a year, but I think I've become more domesticated and having my own apartment and deciding what to spend money on and basically finally becoming a financially independent adult has made me feel good. I like looking around my apartment and knowing that all this is mine. It makes me feel good.

I'm really looking forward to August when Les and I go travel Taiwan. We'll be only staying in the Northern and Central parts of Taiwan, but that's due to time and also we want to have a relaxing vacation. We don't want to feel rushed. Since I've decided to stay because quite a few things happened to influence me to stay, I plan to see as many countries as I can fit in. Between August and December, I am going to take some days off and go to Korea. Then in the winter vacation, I might go to Vietnam and Cambodia. I'm not sure yet, but I know I will be traveling to the SE Asian area. We'll see. It's very far off and I should focus on Taiwan first.

I don't want to jinx anything, but I'm feeling much better and much more lighthearted than before. It's a good feeling. I hope it continues this way or hopefully gets even better. I still have my moments. I had some terrible dreams last night about my ex and kinda woke up feeling empty and emotional. I actually started crying, but Les just grabbed me in his arms and held me tight and told me to let it out. He's so wonderful in that way. He doesn't judge me for still being upset with things. He's helping me mend and also being such a help in so many regards.

About 2 weeks ago, he said I love you. To me it was quite a shock because he was very open about it taking him a lot of time to fall in love. To love someone,  it takes trust and so many other things that had been missing for so long in my life. I think I realized I loved him a few weeks before him when one day I was just looking at him while he was talking to me and it just kinda kicked me in the ass. I was staring at him and an overwhelming feeling of warmth and just wanted to hug him made me realize I think I was falling in love. It's been over 10 years since that happened. This time, untainted.
He does things that are goofy and he's always trying to make me laugh no matter how I feel. He's a positive being. He's always looking for things to do for me, no matter how big or small, just to brighten my day.
So, it's this strange feeling now. It's been so long since I felt so overcome with a surge of emotion that doesn't ebb, but stays there. When I see him, my heart lifts.
Some people would tell me that I got into this too early. They may be right in ways, but the emotions that have developed would say otherwise. Who knew? I still thinks it's funny to sit and think about how he was in my training group. After training, we never really saw each other. It was random times here and there, but never regular.
I never saw myself finding a relationship here.
Life really throws the crazy balls sometimes.

If I only knew French

I'm in love. Have been for quite some time with Julien Dore.
Meh, it's just a language barrier. Body language works just as well...
Here's a playlist for his most recent album. Personally, Kiss me Forever is my favorite. Le'te Summer is following close behind, but I've yet to listen to the entire album yet.

Reboot

So, my last post was dark and dreary.
I've realized now most of my posts of late have been nothing but dark and dreary. Well, I've decided to do my best and reboot myself and my outlook on the coming months.
I came to Japan with one thing in mind. To enjoy staying in Japan and also use the opportunity to travel to other countries close by. Now that I am starting to slowly drag myself out of the hole I was in, I came to realize that home is not the answer to anything I've got going on here. Sure, Japan does magnify some issues, but in general, I've been just a gloomy idiot.
So, for at least the next 11 months, I plan to work my retarded schedule and just suck it up and when it comes to holidays, use them to travel to other countries while I'm here and able.
August is my first big holiday for 2 weeks and I plan on going to Taiwan. It's not China, but it's history is pretty colorful and it's close. It'll be a good start to planning for more excursions outside of Japan. After August, sometime between September and November, I plan to take an extended weekend and go to Korea. I want to spend a few days in Seoul and just get a general feel. It may not be long, but it's one country I know I must visit before I leave.
Then during the holidays, I plan to head over to Thailand. I would like to see Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, etc... Whatever trips I may fit into the amount of time given to us.

Yep. It looks like I will be doing my best to reboot my attitude and do the things I set out to do before coming here and getting sidetracked with dealing with a very substantial bump in the road.
If I find myself feeling down and lonely, family is a phone call away. But, I am ready to stop feeling bad for myself and stop being such a debbie downer.
It's time to explore the world as much as possible while I am young(ish) and able to at this time in my life. I have no kids, no husband, nothing keeping me grounded in one place. I need to take advantage of that.

I am going to vow to myself that from now on posts on my blog will be of positive things. Things that make no sense but only to me, fun things, and adventures in and around Japan and Osaka. Time to reboot my attitude and stop brooding and being dreary over something that is gone and will never return.
Yeah, I miss my family and my pup. But, I have to put to rest my wanderlust or I'll never feel fulfilled or feel like I've missed out on completing goals I've set for myself. Les said it best recently. "You can't enjoy today if you keep thinking about tomorrow." Good words to go by. I've just got to retrain my thoughts and focus on the good things here and the good things in life. I've dwelt too much on the negative and the past and it's hindered and hindering my future. Time to let go. Time to experience good things again.

Rainy days

It's been nothing but rain on my days off the last couple of weeks. Today, a typhoon is making it's way through so it's pretty wet and somewhat breezy outside. So, I get to spend another 2 days inside when I should be going out. Cabin fever is hitting soon. The also terrible thing is that rainy season apparently has officially started. So, the next month or more will be mostly rainy days.
My school days are starting to become less stressful with the more weeks that go by and the regularity of seeing the same kids starts to become more constant. I can say I hate my last kids class of the week. They all deserve to be slapped in the head. It's 7 boys, all who are little pricks who's parents obviously don't understand the concept of discipline. I can't ever imagine being a teacher. I know me being an ESL teacher makes it a different situation, but jesus, I could never do this for the rest of my life. I get too stressed out.
Things are still day by day. I am half and half on coming home in August. That or I can choose to go to Taiwan on our "summer vacation" and see a different country for 11 days. It's pretty cheap to fly to Taiwan. I wanted to go to Australia or New Zealand, but the amount of money it costs to go there right now is way too expensive and I simply don't have the funds for it. While trying to save to go home and also see other countries is a bit of a juggle. I'm not like a bunch of other people around here that have money out there asses.
There is one girl who's spent most of her teens and youth simply traveling the US on 4 different roadtrips, just hung out in Spain for 4 months, and also random other places in Europe. Now she's in Japan. It must be nice not having to worry about where your income is coming from and where you have to send it or spend it. It's not just her, but a few other people here who clearly have no idea what it's like to actually depend on your paycheck. I don't get some of them here who somehow spend their entire paycheck a week before we get paid. What the hell are you doing?!?
Then again, I dated that for 10 years. Mommy and Daddy pay for everything. It makes you sick to your stomach to ask, so how was your Christmas? "Oh, I got this $$$$$ and $$$$ and $$$$ and etc..." I'm happy to get one present from my family. MY FAMILY. Not from mom, then dad, then sister, then aunt, etc... I get a present from the family. People who disrespect their family to the point of sucking them dry makes me sick. There is no respect at all. 
I made a mistake going home during Christmas. It took a large chunk of money I could have put in the bank and also probably would have saved me a lot of grief as well. But, the trade off of seeing family and my pup was just as good.
I have a feeling I'll be sad wherever I go. The deep seed of grief I feel now is how much I miss my dog and how much I'm missing my sister grow up. Those two things get me the most. But, I also miss my grandparents and hearing papa call me sugar britches and here him tell me to always be careful. I miss mama's quiet strength and her just listening to me and talking with me when I would be home before going to work.
And yeah, I miss the comfort of the relationship that was there and the regularity and knowing the other person so well that things kinda were just as they were. They became habit. I guess that was one of the downfalls. Now I don't know how to function in a dating relationship. I feel very alien to it.
Les and I are dating. We talked about it and that's about as far as it goes. A relationship means to be something that is a lot more. It's the commitment and the trust and the love.
I don't have those with Les. Well, I trust him. But, I mean in terms of a long term relationship, that trust should be deeply embedded and stronger than any other bond. Once broken, it's dead.
There is no commitment or love to this dating relationship I have here. It may be adding to my foul moods here because I'm just back to what I was in with Stephen. Why bother? If there is no future or if the words literally that were said was "pointless relationship or uncertain relationship" is used, why bother? Really? I don't have any idea why I should put any effort into something that has nothing to gain from.
I think I've gained insight on how it is to truly be alone. I mean, no family, no friends, and no boyfriend. I relied on boyfriends until I was 27. Now, still at 27 but 6 months on from the breakup, I am finally understanding what it is to be truly alone.

I guess the rain does fit with how I've been feeling. Cold and dreary. It seems I'm doomed to always feel this way. Nothing ever seems to unburden me. I am constantly fighting off some sort of depression or feeling unfulfilled. I'm not really sure what to do anymore. Medication makes me feel worse and the side effects are horrid. All I can do is depress the people around me or make people pretty much despise hanging out with me. I'm a downer. I know it. Too bad I have no idea what to do about it. So, it goes up on this outlet and then I can depress the wider world through the power of the internet.
Glad to be of service.

Day at Minou Falls

A week ago I was feeling very strongly that I can't do this anymore. Again, I'm juggling with the idea of going home sooner than later. I am taking it day by day because so many things effect how I feel about being here and weighing the pros and cons of staying. As of right now, the cons consistently outweigh the pros, but the pros are much more important issues. Like saving money...that's a big one. I can't return home now because I simply haven't saved any money to come home and comfortably live until I found a job at home.
In the meantime, to keep my sanity, I'm going to attempt to go somewhere and see something around Osaka or take weekend trips somewhere nearby until I've saved enough money to return home.
Today I went to Minou falls. It's a very short ride away from where I currently live in Juso. It was definitely something I needed. Fresh air and waterfalls. Both uplifting things that were needed desperately.

Day at Minou Falls

Hiroshima in pictures

Here's links to my flickr which I've uploaded all my images from Hiroshima. Les got quite a few more that I actually will upload to my flickr as well with his permission. Especially of the third day because my camera died and I was dumb not to bring my charger.

Hiroshima day 1 at Genbaku dome and Peace Park

Hiroshima day 2 on Miyajima Island

Hiroshima day 3 on Okushima Island

So, I've been in a serious slump for the last few months and have had the strongest emotions in wanting to return home since I've been in Japan since July of last year.  The combination of my friends leaving, the new schedule (I have an overwhelming amount of kids), and general feelings of missing home intensified have really made me want to jump on a plane home. I have a few friends and family who all seem that it's best I do make my way home while I have the wisdom of my grandparents and other friends saying that it's best I stay.
One argument is that there is nothing in Austin to return to right now. If I was to leave Japan now, I'd be returning home without really saving much money and finding a job is apparently quite scarce.
The flip side to that is that no matter what time I decide to return home, finding a job is going to be a difficulty no matter what. So, it's really not much of a deterrent for me. But, I understand where the argument comes from.
I also have the side who says that mental health is more important than my financial security. Well, in a way that argument in my mind is absolutely valid. To be hating my life here is not better than just being home and being at peace. But, the issue has been raised that if I was to go back home, how would I deal with the break up that is still fairly fresh? Would it just go back to me being depressed and feeling like I can't really go out because I have the chance of running into my ex and feeling like shit because of that?
At this stage, I've decided to take it month by month. I'll be saving my money as much as possible and then if one day it just becomes a situation where I know completely in my mind I need to get the fuck out, I'm going. I'm not committing to the year in my mind. I'm committing to what is best for me. Right now, I should try and save and then go home. Time will also still help the other issue and I think I still need that as well.
So, I'm still going to stay in Japan for the time being. That doesn't nullify the bullshit that I find day to day here. But, there is also so many great things about this country that becomes taken for granted. Unfortunately, I keep focusing on all the negative things. I've got to let it go. I'm becoming the hateful foreigner I despised meeting when I first got here.
Now I know why and how they got that way.

Hiroshima

Pictures will come within time as I go through them and choose the one's I like the most. I think I got a million of the A-bomb dome (Genbaku dome) and of peace park. It was a wonderful experience in Hiroshima, but a few blips were definitely felt along the way.

I'll update tomorrow when I start getting into it. It's late and I'm more than tired of a few things here that have really made me rethink if I truly am staying in Japan for the right reasons or if I'm just staying to seemingly run away from things at home. It's ridiculous to stay somewhere you don't want to be.

Steinhauser's log: Stardate 2011/4/25

I'm relaxing in my apartment right now waiting to watch Game of Thrones with Les and kinda just taking a moment to reflect on things as they are in my life.  I'm an "English" teacher who more or less is just someone who gets paid to make little kids scream random alphabet letters and words back at me. I'm also paid to talk to Japanese people who more or less actually want to learn the language.
Then outside of work, I deal with the daily life of living in a country where English is not the first language and I struggle almost daily (mostly my fault for not studying).
Today I felt like I got a lot done and then went out and bought some things that even though they are small things, they keep me feeling like I have a sense of normalcy there. I bought some cherry tomato plants, a wood windchime, some tealight candle holders, and various other odds and ends. I scrubbed down my bathroom yesterday and gave the microwave and the toaster a good bleaching as well. I bought groceries at Costco last weekend and now that I got the fridge this past week, I just filled it with frozen veggies.
It's more of a comfort now knowing my rice cooker is going again and I'll be eating curry as my nom nom food when I get home from my crazy days at work. Even though kids classes are in a way a pain, they at least make the day go by so much quicker. In ways, it's a bit more rewarding as well.

I promised images of my apartment, though the layout has changed just slightly because of the fridge.

 There is currently now a fridge with my microwave, rice cooker, and toaster where the mirror is.

 There is also a corner shelf now where that mess of wires and boxes are. It looks much nicer with them hidden away with it and also having a place for some books and my plant.

 This is my extra window that let's in quite a bit of light including my balcony doors. I have so much light in the daytime that I don't need to turn on any of my actual lights in the house.

So, in a nutshell, that's my new place. It has a lot of character and I really like it as an apartment in Japan. It's different compared to the others I have seen. Everything else is so typical and simple that this place had so much character that I was sold the moment I walked in. It is smaller than the one in Kyoto, but if you were to add the loft on the ground floor, it'd be almost as big. It's nice to have a separate sleeping place vs. having it all in one room.

Another Austinite whow works in Tokyo is coming to stay with me on the 29th for the night. Her and her boyfriend will be staying and so I'll let them have the whole bottom floor or even possibly give them the bed and I'll sleep on my couch that night. I'm taking them out, so who knows if it ends up killing me as an all nighter or if they will be keen on making it a somewhat early night. I'll let the night take us where we end up.

They leave on Saturday and that's when I get to start packing away some comfy clothes and get my camera ready to go to Hiroshima on Sunday. Les and I are staying 2 nights and since Hiroshima has some sort of flower festival on Tuesday, we weren't able to book the 3rd night because everywhere is packed with people. So, I think we will go to Okunoshima (Rabbit Island) on Tuesday and then when we are done there that day, make our way back to Osaka that night. We will be leaving as the masses will be entering the city. But, I will get to see Peace park and Miyajima. I'm really happy to go to somewhere else in Japan that I've been wanting to go to for quite some time now.

Then summer break will come in August and both Les and I are playing with the thoughts of where we want to go. My foremost thought is of New Zealand. He seems to agree. So, it actually looks like I will be putting my money on seeing New Zealand during summer break. That's pretty far into the future from now, but it's something to look forward to. But, plans change and so do lives. Who knows how I will feel in a month from now.
I got a lot done today that's been on my mind and I think releasing that stress from me has helped put me in a much calmer mood. When I need to do something, I'm the kind that wants to do it right then and there and my patience is very short. It's not a trait I like about myself. I'm very compulsive. In ways it can work in my favor, but other times all it does is stress me out.

So, I look forward to my short week this week (3 days) and then the start to my golden week. It all kicks off with Renee and then I will be in Hiroshima until Tuesday night. Then I've got Wed and Thurs to relax before going back to work on Friday.
What'll be nice is that I only have to work Friday and Saturday and then I have my normal weekend that is my Sunday/Monday off. So, I look forward to this coming week. I'll be busy and I'll be posting pictures of Hiroshima before too long.
It's a much needed break since the last 2 months of moving headaches, changes in schedules, and my friends leaving. But, I have to get used to it. It's a regular thing as an expat. People come and go like a revolving door. I wonder how long it will be before I rotate out as well?

Long time, no type

It's been at least 3 or so weeks since I have posted. A lot has changed. Mostly for the not so good and some for the alright.
First off, I moved to Juso. It's northern Osaka and I'm literally about 3 minutes away by train to Osaka station...the hub of all train activity around here. Juso is considered the "seedy" part of town, but it's more due to it's history of being a red-light district than anything:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C5%ABs%C5%8D

I decided to move here because I "would" be closer to my friends. The trips back and forth from quiet and dead Kyoto weren't quite doing it for me. The travel expenses were mounting, but my timing couldn't have been more wrong. I moved in here exactly the day that my best friend I made here left. The void Britta has left being gone is felt quite a bit. My girlfriend and confidant is now back in Canada and I have ever the more reason to go to Vancouver.
The last couple of weeks have been just nuts. Not only did Britta leave, but a slew of other people I felt were quite good people left. I met a couple named Matt and Kanami who after just getting to know them over a few weeks and really enjoying their company, moved to Fukuoka to be near Kanami's parents.
Sciby left mid March and that already was burning a hole in my stomach while waiting for the others to leave. Another couple I tend to get along with, Chris and Lauren, both have been accepted to grad school in Indiana and recently just decided to go back home in July. I moved here to be closer to friends and yet now I feel farther away than ever.

The new school year started and I'm now bogged down with 12 kids classes vs. the 2 I had last contract. It's a huge change and my voice is getting hoarser day by day. I come home and feel like my time at home is precious. The added time of train rides to and from work equal a full 8 hour work day. It may not seem much to others, but it adds up. My time at home feels less and less. So, when the weekend comes, all I want to do is stay in. When you are living in a foreign country, you should be making the most out of it. But, I've been so slacking when it comes to making my time worth while here.
I've settled into my apartment and almost have all the appliance I require (minus microwave and washing machine). I got all my furniture for pretty great or decent prices. (even a fridge for free!) It's the mattress I splurged on and I'm glad I did. I love sleeping on it. It's extremely comfortable and I'm happy I invested the money into it. Too bad when I leave, it's going to be worth less than half what I paid for it only after a year.

Honestly, I dunno when or not if I'll last until April. My homesickness has been so strong lately, that I'm literally fighting with myself day in and day out. I find my mind pre-occupied with loved ones at home. Kaya plays a major role. The person I thought who would be true in their promise to help take care of her has dropped the ball. I should have known from the beginning that it would have been too good to be true to think his heart was in the right place for her. I think it's just the last tie. To sever it means to sever everything for good between us. Which seems to be what he wants. I can catch a hint when I call or email to ask a question and I receive silence back. It's been almost half a year now since we broke up and almost a full year since we saw each other under positive circumstances. I only wish him the best in any case.
I'm still bitter to be honest about particular things, but I think that it's natural. That chapter of my life is closed and it stubbed the finger when I slammed it shut.

I dunno really how I'm feeling at this point. It's almost an indifference. I am indifferent to my time here. I should be enjoying myself and friends should be easier to make. But, I only assume my personality doesn't fall under the few categories that are predominant here. I'm not an Otaku. I don't go out and drink every night. I'm not a pretentious art twat. I'm not the "I am Japanese" and disappear into Japanese society foreigner. But, number one is that I'm not a white male.
Good god. If you are white, male, and single then you have the lay of the land. You want a girlfriend. Come get one. You've got masses to choose from.
The females here? Unless you have a LDR working from home, you have SLIM pickings. Good luck finding love here.
Really. Good fucking luck.

I'll update again tomorrow with images of my apartment. I should probably be off to bed considering I have 3 kiddie classes tomorrow and have to pick up a microwave.
The negativity emanating from my pores is palpable to those around me right now. But, I'm just not happy. I'm unhappy.

Wanna hear what Laryngitis sounds like?

I'm definitely being very open with how horrible I look in the morning, but this is basically what I sounded like for 3 days and then the gradual improvement still made me sound like I was sick. I'm still being affected by it and I still have a slight cough and my voice is still not 100 percent.

It's not fun being sick.

Making a leap

I'm no longer going to be a Kyoto resident as of tomorrow evening. I fell in love with this city in 2005 and vowed to myself I would return and live here. Mission accomplished. Little did I know that Kyoto socially is probably the worst place to be. As an older 20-something, it's simply filled with married couples and/or families that come to settle here. It's no place for someone who looks for the entertainment a hub of activity that Osaka can provide. I love Kyoto for it's beauty and it's history.

I still love Kyoto. That hasn't changed, but spending the ungodly amount on train fair to get back and forth between Osaka and Kyoto is just ridiculous. There is a downside to the move. Britta leaves the day I move into my place. It's starting to hit me now a bit more after she gave me her financial info so I can send her home her last paycheck. It feels so bittersweet. She and I really had a connection and now I'm losing the one friend I think that I truly felt I found a best friend in. She will always be my friend and I know that I will visit Vancouver just to see her. It's not if but when. When I move back to Austin, she plans on coming to see me eventually. Who knows when, but it will happen one day. Maybe not for a couple of years, but I promise to make it happen.


I'm ready to make the jump to Osaka though. It means access to so much. I'm moving to part of Osaka called Juso. In this area, I'm about an equal distance from Kyoto, Kobe, and literally minutes from Osaka. I'm on a train line now called the Hankyu line that is much cheaper than the JR line that I am now on.
The new schedule starts Friday and what's great is that all my schools are one shot away on the Hankyu line. There are no change over's like I had to frequently do with where I live now. I have been lucky so far in acquiring things that I need for my apartment. I found a really amazing couch for only 8500 yen which is about $70 USD.

Thanks to Les, he's been letting me slowly take bags of things day by day to store at his place to store until I move. If everything goes as it should, the movers should be coming tomorrow to pick up my things to move. It's amazing how much crap you somehow acquire only in 10 months. His roommate is less than thrilled to have another girl kinda invading the apartment a bit, but it's not like I get in her way. They have a third room where this couch is sitting and it's quite out of the way with my stuff on it.
He's been quite the help. I don't get my piece o' heaven mattress until the 3rd, so I have a place to stay until then. I can start moving everything in starting on the first though. I have to be there on the 3rd to get my gas turned on and also have the mattress delivered. My internet won't be installed probably within a couple of weeks, but I will still be available through my iphone. It's times like these that I'm glad I have that little machine.

A lot will be happening within the next week so I will do my best to try and keep my blog up to date with progress. I'd love to take pictures of the new apartment and show my first real place that I got myself and it's mine. Finally, at 27. I did this myself. (well, with a lot of help with Les) :P

Day trip with Britta to Nara

I had a day trip with Sciby literally maybe 2 weeks ago before he set off back to Australia. Britta has never been and I had been itching to take my good camera with me to take some photos of Nara. I find it very amusing that both times I went, it started raining. So, I'm gripping my camera under my umbrella while also making sure my bag doesn't get wet because my lenses and phone are in there as well.
I think she had a pretty good time. It wasn't rushed and everything was just relaxing. I wish I could take away some of her anxiety for her move and what's to come in the near future, but I think once she's home, she'll feel better about life in general.
These are just some shots of our day:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/g00nie9183/sets/72157626212226963/

I also went through the nostril sized hole in the pillar a second time. That means that I should be able to reach complete enlightenment by becoming a giant Buddha booger. Twice! I wanted to get video of me going through and I went pretty fast compared to my time with Sciby. It's a bit awkward because all the Japanese people stand around and watch this blondish foreigner make her way through the hole. I was like "eh...eh...eh... through! Ok. Moving on!"

It's funny you can literally see me at the end be like, ok let's go.
But, otherwise it was a day just for me and her. Sunday I'm taking her to Koyasan because I am in love with Koya. It was the reason I vowed to return to this country and this will be my third time there. She has to see something like Koya before she goes. I'm not a spiritual or religious person. But when I'm there, it's literally a spiritual and calming feeling that envelopes me. I still don't know why.
So, It'll be a busy weekend. My favorite school's end of year party is on Saturday night, so I have to make it a easy going night. It needs to be that way anyways because I'm recovering from laryngitis and pharyngitis.
Voila, I am on antibiotics yet again. This time the doc told me I have to use a mask because I have bacterial laryngitis and it is contagious. I guess those stupid things do serve some purpose. I sound like Marge Simpson's sisters Pam and Selma on crack. I sound horrid. It happens at least once a year though. Usually I get bronchitis. Another day of rest and possible stir craziness. I guess I can just continue on packing.

It's a difficult time in Japan

I'm sorry to take so long to write in my blog. I've been preoccupied and extremely busy especially with the heavy burden of Friday March 11, 2011 on my mind. I had been in my apartment simply enjoying hanging out with Les when Sciby skyped me asking if I was ok. All I thought he meant was "How is it going?" I thought he was asking about my general well being. "Hey, yeah, I'm fine!" I was more concerned about how he was doing since he had landed home in Australia after 3 and half years here literally two days earlier. Little did I know he was watching footage at home in Australia about the massive quake. He mentioned the earthquake and I didn't really think much of it. Japan is full of the. But, when he said it was an 8.9 magnitude at the time, I threw on the news and saw the devastation in progress.
I watched as the tsunami waters receded and saw all the overturned boats and the footage of the massive wave simply wiping out the small towns on TV. I couldn't believe the devastation. It took a few days for the damage to be fully exposed and it's been on everyone's mind since. All my lessons seem to steer towards the subject. A few students of mine are in an unhealthy state of mind because they've stuck to the TV screen about everything occurring. I don't recommend this because it only puts you in an extremely low state and only effects your well being when everything is out of your hands.

What irks me is the level of sensationalism America and other countries have decided to take this to. While Japanese have been stoic and calm throughout this catastrophe, Americans are stockpiling on anti-radiation medicine. WTF?! The shit happened here in Japan. If anybody needs those meds, it's these people. If you are kind enough to donate, please find the local red cross in your area and I'm almost positive that they have a fund set up for Japan right now. So many places do.

Here are some links that my personnel department sent to us located in the Kinki region:

A site that has collected very credible information is the MIT Nuclear Science and Engineering Nuclear Information Hub http://mitnse.com/. They have dedicated their homepage to providing up-to-date and accurate information available from Fukushima. Please take some time to read through the entire page as they even go into a highlight review of what has happened over the last couple of days.

For information about current radiation measurements throughout Japan, please have a look at the Nuclear Safety Technology Center’s website: http://www.bousai.ne.jp/eng/.

Gaijinpot has created a special website which posts regularly updated information about the current situation, along with advice and precautions that people should take. Please have a look at the following: http://injapan.gaijinpot.com/earth-quake-information/

I'm fine. As of today, so far nothing has sent me packing. But, I'm still on the cautious side of things and will remain there until I'm 100% sure it's ok to stay. I'm moving April 1st into Osaka to be closer to my friends and have the ability to make new ones. I love Kyoto, but the general state of people placed here are that they are married men and/or set in their ways and not open to making new buddies. I will be farther away from my friend Shoko, but taking that train is nothing compared to having her as my friend. I'll take photos of my new apartment which I really love and be more regular with updates of things happening here. 

My  kid classes ended today and I'll post photos of them soon. It was a heartbreaking day and I got nothing but love and presents from all of them. I brought them presents too though, so hopefully they felt the love as well. Next year is going to be a doozy. 

Goddammit, addiction!

R.I.P. Mike Starr

I remember exactly where I was when I heard Layne Staley had passed away and I was crushed. Now another one of the founding members of Alice in Chains has passed away to yet again, addiction. Alice was a big part of my youth and my angsty teen years. They have been a big part of my musical history because I listened to them more than any band excluding David Bowie. I remember going to the beach with my family and my mom and dad would be blasting Facelift while we were building sandcastles.
Any Alice fan I've met has been pretty cool in my books.
Their song on Facelift called "We die young" has started to become a prophecy. I just hope that Jerry Cantrell and Sean Kinney can dodge this bullet. I only wonder what both of them are thinking right now. After Layne passed away, I knew that the band had dealt with his addictions for a long time and that's one of the many factors the band parted ways. It's also why the later albums had more of Jerry taking over in vocals and Layne kinda layed back a bit more. He was so involved with drugs that his involvement with recording and singing took a backseat a bit. I remembered how upset Jerry was in interviews when discussing Layne's passing.
Now Mike Starr has passed away and it's just another blow.
RIP Mike Starr. RIP Layne Staley. Both of you are missed and going to be missed forever for all the Alice fans out there. It's just another reason why people should realize addiction is not something that should be taken lightly. It's a disease.