here, your curiosity is now sated

Yes, I went to Japan for 2 weeks. Yes, I came home. I'm tired of repeating the story over and over because basically it's just rubbing salt in an open wound that has yet to heal. So, here, in all it's glory are the many reasons I have made the trek home after dreaming of being in Japan for 3 years.

My situation, to sum it all up real fast, has been horrid.
I lived in a very tiny town without any transportation. No regular buses, trams, trains, etc...
The nearest large city was an hour and half away by car.
The bus that does run, has two times. One in the morning, one in the early afternoon. ALL during the hours I work. Problem: not solved.
I have a bike and that gets me to my office and schools in about 5-10 minutes from my apt. That's great and wonderful, but it doesn't solve the fact that I'm stuck in bumf*** nowhere without any transportation.

I don't have internet so I used an internet cafe for about 30 minutes every day at lunch which cost $3 every single time. I couldn't use my own computer, so I couldn't send pictures or anything personal. The internet issue is that they quoted me 7 months (yes, 7 MONTHS) to get internet in my apt. I'm so far out and they needed permission from my landlord to install a line, that they told me it would take that long.
No internet = no connection to family and friends.

I'm the only English speaker here and the only person under the age of 45. The high school students I'm supposed to teach must be bussed in from all over the tiny towns around my tiny town. Being the only English speaker is not the problem. The problem is being the only 25 year old in town. All the kids move to the city once they hit the university age so that left me utterly alone in a vastly aging town and a pachinko parlor in the supermarket.

My house smelled like cat urine and mold. There are moldy shapes forming in the wall. Mold is everywhere. My bathtub had the most disgusting lining of mold behind it. I don't see how living in that apartment wouldn't make anyone sick. Go look at my flickr if you want proof.

I feel isolated because there are no other people around that I can relate to or talk to. Even the older generation shun me off when they see me coming. I had a lady cross the street when she saw me riding towards her. With traffic coming and almost hitting her on top of it. I think I lived in a town that still feels anger towards Americans.

It's been a horrible experience, living wise. So, you may find that I'm at home now. I took a short leave which I'm allowed in my contract, and I was weighing my pros and cons of going back. The cons won. I sent an email to my boss specifying I be given a car so I can have some mode of transport and asked they find me some sort of internet connection. He emailed and told me that none of that was possible. My Board of Education thinks since I'm not Japanese, I'm a liability when it comes to driving. So, it sealed the fate of this.
JET gave me the shite end of a deal. My preference was Kyoto, and they gave me this. A girl with no preferences that roomed with me had been given Kyoto. So, I feel this program gave me a really horrible placement with really horrible options.

The other program I passed up, the one with less pay, but with my friend Graham, is having a great time. Because he's near transportation, things other than rice paddies and the local supermarket, other people his age, etc...
All the things I counted on having.

So, call me a failure if you will. I tried. I tried this and expected one thing and got the total bad end of the deal.
It's a hard road I've come to. I'm sick of the disappointments JET has given me. So sick of it.

I just need to breathe and try to let myself unwind after going through such a whirlwind and heartbreak. Having your dream shattered is not exactly an experience I would want anyone to have.

If they would have placed me in a city near a train station at least, I would have been happy. But, as luck would have it, I was given a remote tiny village with no transportation (unless I was given a car that I was denied), no peers, no internet or phone, and an old moldy and damp apartment.
I've learned a lot from the experience that's for sure. So, I feel a bit more positive about it now than I have for the last few days. My grandparents both feel that I made a difficult choice, but in the end, it's almost a choice I made for my own sanity.

Redeeming qualities?
My boss. Super awesome guy with a great sense of humor. I am more than upset to leave him.
The scenery. There is nothing quite equal to living in the mountains where everything is lush and green. But, watch out for those spiders.

Yup. So, I don't want to talk about it for a good while. If you ask, I think you might just get a grunt. I just got a job at Apple where I can focus my attention for a while. Then, if I feel the time has come to try again, I'll know to go with Joytalk because at least I'll be with peers, communication, transportation, and the Japan I loved the most.

Nobody really cares about this stuff anyways, but I just don't want to keep repeating myself from now on. It's hurt and it's gonna hurt for a while.