153/365

View On Black

My new PBJ

This is going to sound so gross. But, trust me, it's not.

I went to eat some honey nut cheerios and I had like a tablespoon of milk left. Sadly, I decided to make a PBJ. Then it occurred to me I wouldn't have to waste the cheerios I just poured. I mixed the cheerios in with my Peanut Butter and made a PBJ using that. And, it's super good.

Sounds gross. But, it's mighty delicious.

152/365

Feeling very uninspired. This one goes in my crap pile. That's ok, each day brings a new chance to make something better. Hopefully I can think of something for today that will be not as boring as this one. I wish I could make an amazing picture every single day like that flickr user Hannaheartless, but I don't have the time or resources to do the stuff she does. She seems to have endless amounts of stuff to use on her face and also ideas that never cease. If I had a box full of glitter and knick knacks to glue to myself, then maybe it would be as cool. All I have is my camera and my face. And photoshop. 

So, I make due and create whatever. blah.

It's food time. I feel the effects of hunger influencing my mood. 

151/365

A study in red. 

View On Black

Went out and bought some shirts and a cardigan at Urban Outfitters. That place is so stupid expensive. But it has shirts I really like and sometimes dresses as well. Sometimes you have to pay for something that you really want. Also bought 3 scarves at the vintage shop and a new pair of sunglasses since my others died. :(

150/365

View On Black

Just whoa.

I was just randomly going through flickr looking at other people's 365 projects and saw this talented lady's 365.
I'm left in awe. Just straight up awe. Her photoshop skills are incredible and her ideas and execution are unmatched. I've never seen such talent. It makes my 365 look like dog poo.

Hannaheartless:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hannaheartless/

I was so taken back by it, I had to post her flickr address to share.

149/365

I tend to beat myself up. Not literally.

Yann Tiersen is coming on the 21st of April! So excited! I've never thought that I would get to see him

live because, well, he's french and tends to stay in Europe. But, it's so awesome that within one month of each other, I will see Muse and him.

I rarely see bands I like because the ones I do want to see are all touring in Europe rather than over here in Texas. Bat for Lashes last year was a surprise for me too. But, this year seems off to a good start.

But, knowing how Texas goes, It'll probably be the only two bands/artist I will see this year.

That's ok. Muse is my ultimate and Yann Tiersen is the icing on the cake.

:)

148/365

This one I tried a tutorial. It came out only half as good as I wanted it to be. I also learned how to use stroke paths and they are a bit wonky on this photo. I need more practice. At least I know how to use them in a general sense now. I also learned the displace filter on phototshop, but I have no idea how to use it for a photo yet. There are so many things you can do with photoshop it's almost overwhelming.

So, since Japan has been pushed back yet again, that means that I can go see Muse in March in Ft. Worth. I spent $120 for two tickets (most of it for stupid fees that ticketmaster charges) and will be looking forward to my 2nd show for my most favorite band ever.

This last album is my least favorite, but I still won't miss the chance to see them. They still put on a hell of a show. It's either my brother or my mom that are going to come with me this time. Gotta share the love.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to Half Price to sell some books and try and find something to read. I have the Patrick Swayze's book that he wrote right before he passed, so I know that's going to be a tear jerker.

Apparently, Pancreatic cancer only makes itself known (or obvious something is wrong) until it's in its late stages of development. So, you are screwed basically once you find out. There is no truly fighting it and winning. It's just delaying the inevitable.

Cancer is a scary thing. Poor Michael C. Hall (Dexter) has Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Cancer doesn't give a shit who you are.

All I ever want is to just die in my sleep. I just wish it would happen that way.

Screw growing old.

147/365

I shot this right around magic hour at 5:30pm and used two work lights to illuminate me and the tree. So that background is not messed with in photoshop at all. I couldn't believe it either when I saw the pictures come out.

out take:

The shoe in the shot is less than ideal. Also, my shutter speed was too slow and it was too bright. But, that sky. Love it.

Anywho, I went to the Dr. today and found out I have fibrocystic breasts. That means I get to look forward to long years of watching my caffeine and ginseng intake because it may cause my breasts to hurt. The lump I found is apart of this lovely network of similar lumps in my breast. This one just happened to be more prominent and develop within the last month.

The Dr. made me laugh because he said that about the only positive thing with fibrocystic breasts is that they tend to retain shape and density into the later years. So, about the only thing I get to look forward to with this is that my breasts won't droop.

My aunt has fibrocystic breasts, so it made me breathe a sigh of relief because I can talk to her about it.

I don't want to go back to the dr. for a while now. That's the third appt. in three weeks.

146/365

It's been a beautiful and productive Sunday for me.  I cleaned, dusted, did laundry, painted my window, and did many other things. It's only 6:30pm and I'm surprised I got all that done. This week means that I get to look forward to hopefully my tax return (woot!), another appt. with the Dr. on Tues., Half-Price books, going to see the movie Legion, and some ideas for 365 that I need some extra hands for.

So, hopefully my week will be as productive as today and Tues. I can find out if all is well or if I need to find some cheap health insurance quickly.

145/365

It was just one of those days.

144/365

Tina Turner wigs have so many uses. Instead, I look like a mix between my dad and Russell Brand.

143/365

Black and white. I like the contrast of my shirt.

My world is not coming to an end

I got my lab results back from the 3 liters of blood they sucked from my arm. All is normal in Danica's body. Well, somewhat. My lymphocites and Neutraphils (never heard of Neutraphils before, but with the magic of google, found out they are a type of white blood cell) are still a bit off. I talked to the doctor about my results and she said that they are not off so much that it concerns her. But, she did state that if they do not go down within the next couple of weeks, she would like to do a biopsy.

I don't like the idea of that at all, but I'm still breathing a sigh of relief that nothing came out as an urgent big red flag. I have enough anxiety as it is, I don't need to worry to the point of making myself physically ill. She gave me an HIV test and a Mono test, both which were negative. I didn't have anything to worry about for the HIV since I've been a monogamous person for almost 10 years. But, I think the psychological effect of just knowing you are being tested for HIV brings all these what if's to your head. It freaked me out a bit.

I hate health involved stuff. I find myself freaking out over it too often and too much. I think my mom's hypochondria has rubbed off on me. That's not something that should be passed on. I call her to tell her my concerns about my lymph nodes and then she starts into her stories about how she had a hug lump under her arm and bla bla bla bla. It doesn't help to have a misery party when you are already nervous about your own well being.

But all is good.

The only thing bothering me today is that I finally got an email back from my recruiter. In the last paragraph of his email was this:

"The next period for possible placement would be in late February, for May - July starts.  It is unfortunate that we could not find a placement for you in the January through March period, but with recruits outnumbering available positions due to a lack of turnover and weak demand related to the sagging economy, we have had to push back placement for a number of great recruits interviewed last year.  However, please know that we will eventually have a placement offer for you and I hope that your personal circumstances will allow you to remain until we can finally bring you in, hopefully sometime mid year."


He explained how he contacted all the Personnel offices to find if there were any more openings, but no one is hiring at this time for this hiring session. It looks like people are staying and so the positions are few. It does bode well that this is a company that people feel good enough with that they decide to stay on. My friend Renee has been there for over a year now and possibly contracting for an extra year after this one is up.  That says more than any slogan. All word I've heard about ECC has been positive. So, I emailed him back and said I'm on board until they find me a placement. I'll take any date. 


So, Japan is once again postponed. But, at least postponed with a promise of a job there. 

142/365

Just made myself up as a creepy doll.

Makeup tutoria by Petrilude  

Texture by Pareerica

I did this using makeup from a tutorial on youtube. The only thing I did with photoshop on my face was blend in the bottom of my eye with the makeup and made it come together. Otherwise all of it was just makeup. I'm kind of proud because usually stuff like this doesn't come out for me (physical makeup).

I only have one set of fake lashes which were used for the eye most prominent to the camera. The other I had to improvise and use liquid liner. Up close it looked horrid. From this view, you can't see how bad it is. So, all in all, I'm happy with this one.

141/365

General Kael? check. Sorsha? check. Willow? check. Mad Martigan? check. High Aldwin? (not pictured) check. Queen Bavmorda? Do not own. Willow Uber fan fail.

A personal look into my nerdy, nerdy world. 

140/365

I'm feeling out of body at the moment. I have two doctor's appt.'s tomorrow. One to check these lymph nodes that keep popping up swollen and the two that are hard under my jaw. The next is the dentist to see what the heck is going on with my root canal tooth and why after two years, I'm still having problems with it. It's a possibility it can be contributing to my lymph nodes if their is an infection deep in my gum or jaw. Either way, I'm feeling really worried. Yes, I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac.

But, you just know when something doesn't seem right with your body.

These lymph nodes are freaking me out. I already have my scarred and under-working thyroid that I take medication for, but I don't want anything else on my plate.  I can't afford to deal with any more crap. I make too little money and no insurance. Vulcan just doesn't supply that.

I'm demanding a blood test tomorrow to check my thyroid levels and to also check my white blood cell count. Just to make sure my lymph nodes have nothing else going on with them.

texture by pareerica

139/365

138/365

I tried my best to imitate a 1940's Hollywood portrait, but I feel like this turned out to look too modern. I need my hair to be done right and having the right studio set up. But, otherwise I'm happy with how it turned out. I did my best.

137/365

136/365

I feel so bad today. Headache. Sinus pressure behind my eyes and and a nose that never stop running. My ears are clogged and I don't have an appetite. Is this what you do to me Cedar? Or is it something else? I have an appt. on Feb. 9th with an ENT for my swollen lymph nodes on the left side of my neck and jaw. I have been freaking myself out because a lot of my symptoms have been that of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I know it's stupid to think that, but with enlarged lymph nodes that haven't gone back to normal in over six months, you start to worry a bit. I've been through a couple rounds of antibiotics that haven't done anything. They stay the same size.

Now my GP wants me to go to an ENT. What a great sign if he can't figure out what's wrong.

135/365

134/365

My retardedness can now be explained in one image.

133/365

I guess this was as good as I could get for a physical representation of how my mind goes off when I get an idea or put my mind to something. It explodes with color and I become almost electric and have one track mind on how to achieve that goal. That's what happened when I decided to go to another country for the first time. It's how I jumped onto the English teacher bandwagon. It's how I continued to keep searching for an English teacher position in Japan. I have this sense of completing something once I start it. I hate leaving things half finished or have a failure.

Ha. I just wrote that as I looked over to my left at my unfinished portrait of River Phoenix. (foot in mouth)

:)

132/365

View on Black

131/365

Yes, lame I know. It's not original and not by me. But it was a fun thing I did with my friend Rockie. We had a silly and amazing time laughing our butts off at the "happy" and "angry" emotions you can put on your face. It's rather hilarious.

130/365

Roy G. Biv

I'm feeling very uninspired the past week or so. Ideas are coming to me, but they all require a real studio set up or real lights. It's also too cold to do some pictures outside that I'd like to try. Or maybe I should stop being a wuss and just go out there and deal with it. I have an idea of a picture I want to do, but I have no idea how to execute it. I dunno. Hopefully my artistic side of me will push into gear soon.

This was a rather dull and lame 365. C'mon brain, you can do better than this.

129/365

This is the result I get from my ghetto rigged studio. Not too bad. A few little tweaks on the background to make it a bit more uniform, but otherwise, I didn't do much to this photo at all. The lighting actually worked out all right for this one.

+ Great Grandma's 1920's beads and vintage 70's dress make glamming up fun...

128/365

This is where I set up my ghetto rigged "studio." It's a piece of large felt layed over a non-working fluorescent light. Then I have to position two free standing lamps to how I want them to light while making sure nothing catches fire. I've got like 3 feet in which to work because the chair and couch in the garage are just a step away. If I put the fan in the wrong place, it'll blow the felt down. It's awesome ghetto rigging all this stuff. Sometimes nothing comes out of it, but sometimes it actually works.

I'd like some real studio lights one of these days, but I doubt that will happen in the near future.

127/365

I do love where I work. I'm surrounded by the things I love the most.

126/365

RIP Clint Tee. I can't wear it anymore because it's become so threadbare and if I risk any washes from now on, it could be torn to pieces. So, I'm putting it away to only wear it on special occasions. But, what occasions would that be? I love you Clint tee.

125/365

Lazy Sunday.

Top Albums of the 00' decade

So, I'm going to be honest and say that this list is going to be very limited and dominated by Muse. I dunno what it is about me, but music is a hard area for me to open up to, if those are the right words to explain what I mean. It's usually songs I latch on to, not albums. When I find a band I love, I run it into the ground. I know I do that, but I can't help it. I guess I don't have anyone exposing me to music I really would enjoy that isn't crap played on the radio. I'm really picky though, so I don't know. I'm stuck in the general decades of the 80's and 60's. I'm just not being exposed to the right things I guess. So hear they are in no particular order.  


Muse - Origin of Symmetry 2001 Bliss 
White Stripes - White Blood Cells 2001 We're going to be friends 
Kylie Minogue - Fever 2002 (yes, Kylie. I love Kylie and let's leave it at that) In Your Eyes 
Muse - Hullabaloo (technically many B-sides and live recordings) 2002 The Gallery 
Goldfrapp - Black Cherry 2003 Ooh La La 
Muse - Absolution 2003 Hysteria 
Arcade Fire - Funeral 2004 Wake Up 
Muse- Black Holes and Revelations 2006 Knights of Cydonia 
Bat for Lashes - Fur and Gold 2006 What's a Girl to do? 
Joanna Newsom - Ys 2006 Emily Part 1

124/365

I always get the "don't leave me' look from my pup if I take a shower. It usually means I'm leaving or going to work.

 

123/365

This New Year's ended up being a pretty good one. I've had some blah ones the past few years, but this one made up for those crappy ones. We started the night out at Stephen's friends where we could see the fireworks over Lady Bird Lake. We took a lot of photos goofy photos with sparklers, but that was the fun of it.

Then we went to my high school friend PJ's house and I had a blast. It's always good to see old friends and shoot the shit with them. Little did I know, we took a look at the clock and saw it was 5:30am and we knew we probably should go considering our hosts kindly obliged us until then. I thought it was

pretty cool that we ended up being the last to leave the house because I got to really talk to PJ and Brittany.

I had a good time. I hope they did too.

View my picture in black: View On Black