A long ride since Taiwan

In short, I stopped blogging because so much had begun to happen around the time of before and after Taiwan. During this time, I was dealing with a health issue the doctors in Japan could not figure out. I decided to go on a diet that I found online by listing my symptoms. It came up consistently as interstitial cystitis. While on the diet, I slowly got better on my own without the help of Japanese doctors.
I was basically forced to move in with my boyfriend Les, who's roommate decided to get up and leave the apartment with less than 48 hours notice. It was a brisk and tough decision, but it was made. I moved in with Les in September and honestly, it just went south from there. Not necessarily us, but me. My moods went south not only because of my continual struggle with my health, but my mental health was faltering. It became so bad, that by November, I was grasping at reasons why I was still in Japan and how much of being there I could take anymore. A lot of other personal issues were involved, but the most important reasons I left Japan on December 8, 2011 was for my mental health.

As for Les and I? Well, he is still in my life. I still love him with all my heart. He has issues he has to deal with as well. I am back at home, slowly trying to readjust and get better. It's been a painstaking process so far. I miss Les like crazy. He not only showed me what a good and compassionate human being can be like, but how opposites can attract. He is someone I would probably never give a second glance to here in Austin. We would have probably never crossed the same paths ever. But, by going to Japan and opening myself up to so many different walks of life, I met him and fell in love. At this point in time we are not putting ourselves in a relationship. Though, we are there for each other. I speak to him nearly every day in some fashion. I'm here for him as he goes through what he needs to go through while I also focus on getting my depression under control.
I've been to two therapy sessions since being home and the third will decide whether I stay with this therapist or not. Our last session was really less than satisfactory.

So, yes. Between Taiwan in August and now (January 10, 2010) I have moved from one apartment into my boyfriend's, went through a lot of crap with my job, had a serious breakdown caused by outside influences, and then I was put on a plane and sent home for my own sanity. Though I feel it may have been a rash decision, I feel now and see that this path was going to happen. I didn't think it would, but I guess I knew deep down I wouldn't have lasted in Japan until August. I just missed too much here at home and needed to heal as well on a whole other level for specific things in my life.

I'm currently on the job hunt and have been since I got home. So far, I'm a UTemp which hasn't given me work yet. I also apply to at least 2-6 jobs a day online. I had an interview with a used clothing store, but didn't make the cut. (I think I had to be a level of hipster that wasn't what they were looking for) So, I made my portfolio website:
www.danicasteinhauser.com

And I continue to go day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I am waiting to hear if I got into a school in Canada that is a Grad certification program for Special FX makeup and prosthetics. It's something I want so badly that it almost hurts to think too much about it. If I get denied, I know the blow it will give me. But, no matter what, the one thing I keep hoping and looking forward to is that hopefully Les and I will continue to talk and love each other. If that continues and we both feel the same way we do as of today, then he will fly to Austin and we will drive to Canada together and while he goes to school, I will do my best in finding another program or work that will sponsor me. My goal is to be with Les in Canada by the end of August. But, you know how things go in life. It's never a one way road. It takes twists and turns and you end up in a totally different direction than you originally planned. So, what I just wrote is all my hopes. I can't say plans, but my hopes.

You take for granted a lot of things in life. One is friends. Don't ever take for granted friends that you have. Respect them, keep up with them, be honest with them, and love them. Keep them close. They are what make you sane. Insanity comes easily from loneliness. I've come to see that friendship is something that cannot have a value put on it. One single true friend is worth more than anything in the world. If I was offered to be rich and friendless or rich in friends but poor in cash, gimme the friends.

I'll try and keep up with my blog again. It was doing me good for a while, especially getting over my ex. Which I can finally say in full confidence that I am over. I found love that I don't think I'll ever find the equivalent of again. It's why I want to hold onto it so dearly. Patience. It's not a virtue I have. But, it's what I have to do in order to hopefully see Les again.

Let's see how things roll now? I'm back home and still mending. It's been a month now. But, even after a month I still feel like an alien in my own hometown. Strange how things like that work.