Steinhauser's log: Stardate 2011/4/25

I'm relaxing in my apartment right now waiting to watch Game of Thrones with Les and kinda just taking a moment to reflect on things as they are in my life.  I'm an "English" teacher who more or less is just someone who gets paid to make little kids scream random alphabet letters and words back at me. I'm also paid to talk to Japanese people who more or less actually want to learn the language.
Then outside of work, I deal with the daily life of living in a country where English is not the first language and I struggle almost daily (mostly my fault for not studying).
Today I felt like I got a lot done and then went out and bought some things that even though they are small things, they keep me feeling like I have a sense of normalcy there. I bought some cherry tomato plants, a wood windchime, some tealight candle holders, and various other odds and ends. I scrubbed down my bathroom yesterday and gave the microwave and the toaster a good bleaching as well. I bought groceries at Costco last weekend and now that I got the fridge this past week, I just filled it with frozen veggies.
It's more of a comfort now knowing my rice cooker is going again and I'll be eating curry as my nom nom food when I get home from my crazy days at work. Even though kids classes are in a way a pain, they at least make the day go by so much quicker. In ways, it's a bit more rewarding as well.

I promised images of my apartment, though the layout has changed just slightly because of the fridge.

 There is currently now a fridge with my microwave, rice cooker, and toaster where the mirror is.

 There is also a corner shelf now where that mess of wires and boxes are. It looks much nicer with them hidden away with it and also having a place for some books and my plant.

 This is my extra window that let's in quite a bit of light including my balcony doors. I have so much light in the daytime that I don't need to turn on any of my actual lights in the house.

So, in a nutshell, that's my new place. It has a lot of character and I really like it as an apartment in Japan. It's different compared to the others I have seen. Everything else is so typical and simple that this place had so much character that I was sold the moment I walked in. It is smaller than the one in Kyoto, but if you were to add the loft on the ground floor, it'd be almost as big. It's nice to have a separate sleeping place vs. having it all in one room.

Another Austinite whow works in Tokyo is coming to stay with me on the 29th for the night. Her and her boyfriend will be staying and so I'll let them have the whole bottom floor or even possibly give them the bed and I'll sleep on my couch that night. I'm taking them out, so who knows if it ends up killing me as an all nighter or if they will be keen on making it a somewhat early night. I'll let the night take us where we end up.

They leave on Saturday and that's when I get to start packing away some comfy clothes and get my camera ready to go to Hiroshima on Sunday. Les and I are staying 2 nights and since Hiroshima has some sort of flower festival on Tuesday, we weren't able to book the 3rd night because everywhere is packed with people. So, I think we will go to Okunoshima (Rabbit Island) on Tuesday and then when we are done there that day, make our way back to Osaka that night. We will be leaving as the masses will be entering the city. But, I will get to see Peace park and Miyajima. I'm really happy to go to somewhere else in Japan that I've been wanting to go to for quite some time now.

Then summer break will come in August and both Les and I are playing with the thoughts of where we want to go. My foremost thought is of New Zealand. He seems to agree. So, it actually looks like I will be putting my money on seeing New Zealand during summer break. That's pretty far into the future from now, but it's something to look forward to. But, plans change and so do lives. Who knows how I will feel in a month from now.
I got a lot done today that's been on my mind and I think releasing that stress from me has helped put me in a much calmer mood. When I need to do something, I'm the kind that wants to do it right then and there and my patience is very short. It's not a trait I like about myself. I'm very compulsive. In ways it can work in my favor, but other times all it does is stress me out.

So, I look forward to my short week this week (3 days) and then the start to my golden week. It all kicks off with Renee and then I will be in Hiroshima until Tuesday night. Then I've got Wed and Thurs to relax before going back to work on Friday.
What'll be nice is that I only have to work Friday and Saturday and then I have my normal weekend that is my Sunday/Monday off. So, I look forward to this coming week. I'll be busy and I'll be posting pictures of Hiroshima before too long.
It's a much needed break since the last 2 months of moving headaches, changes in schedules, and my friends leaving. But, I have to get used to it. It's a regular thing as an expat. People come and go like a revolving door. I wonder how long it will be before I rotate out as well?

Long time, no type

It's been at least 3 or so weeks since I have posted. A lot has changed. Mostly for the not so good and some for the alright.
First off, I moved to Juso. It's northern Osaka and I'm literally about 3 minutes away by train to Osaka station...the hub of all train activity around here. Juso is considered the "seedy" part of town, but it's more due to it's history of being a red-light district than anything:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C5%ABs%C5%8D

I decided to move here because I "would" be closer to my friends. The trips back and forth from quiet and dead Kyoto weren't quite doing it for me. The travel expenses were mounting, but my timing couldn't have been more wrong. I moved in here exactly the day that my best friend I made here left. The void Britta has left being gone is felt quite a bit. My girlfriend and confidant is now back in Canada and I have ever the more reason to go to Vancouver.
The last couple of weeks have been just nuts. Not only did Britta leave, but a slew of other people I felt were quite good people left. I met a couple named Matt and Kanami who after just getting to know them over a few weeks and really enjoying their company, moved to Fukuoka to be near Kanami's parents.
Sciby left mid March and that already was burning a hole in my stomach while waiting for the others to leave. Another couple I tend to get along with, Chris and Lauren, both have been accepted to grad school in Indiana and recently just decided to go back home in July. I moved here to be closer to friends and yet now I feel farther away than ever.

The new school year started and I'm now bogged down with 12 kids classes vs. the 2 I had last contract. It's a huge change and my voice is getting hoarser day by day. I come home and feel like my time at home is precious. The added time of train rides to and from work equal a full 8 hour work day. It may not seem much to others, but it adds up. My time at home feels less and less. So, when the weekend comes, all I want to do is stay in. When you are living in a foreign country, you should be making the most out of it. But, I've been so slacking when it comes to making my time worth while here.
I've settled into my apartment and almost have all the appliance I require (minus microwave and washing machine). I got all my furniture for pretty great or decent prices. (even a fridge for free!) It's the mattress I splurged on and I'm glad I did. I love sleeping on it. It's extremely comfortable and I'm happy I invested the money into it. Too bad when I leave, it's going to be worth less than half what I paid for it only after a year.

Honestly, I dunno when or not if I'll last until April. My homesickness has been so strong lately, that I'm literally fighting with myself day in and day out. I find my mind pre-occupied with loved ones at home. Kaya plays a major role. The person I thought who would be true in their promise to help take care of her has dropped the ball. I should have known from the beginning that it would have been too good to be true to think his heart was in the right place for her. I think it's just the last tie. To sever it means to sever everything for good between us. Which seems to be what he wants. I can catch a hint when I call or email to ask a question and I receive silence back. It's been almost half a year now since we broke up and almost a full year since we saw each other under positive circumstances. I only wish him the best in any case.
I'm still bitter to be honest about particular things, but I think that it's natural. That chapter of my life is closed and it stubbed the finger when I slammed it shut.

I dunno really how I'm feeling at this point. It's almost an indifference. I am indifferent to my time here. I should be enjoying myself and friends should be easier to make. But, I only assume my personality doesn't fall under the few categories that are predominant here. I'm not an Otaku. I don't go out and drink every night. I'm not a pretentious art twat. I'm not the "I am Japanese" and disappear into Japanese society foreigner. But, number one is that I'm not a white male.
Good god. If you are white, male, and single then you have the lay of the land. You want a girlfriend. Come get one. You've got masses to choose from.
The females here? Unless you have a LDR working from home, you have SLIM pickings. Good luck finding love here.
Really. Good fucking luck.

I'll update again tomorrow with images of my apartment. I should probably be off to bed considering I have 3 kiddie classes tomorrow and have to pick up a microwave.
The negativity emanating from my pores is palpable to those around me right now. But, I'm just not happy. I'm unhappy.