Realizing I'll be leaving in less than 2 weeks, the real itch is starting to reach all the places I can't scratch. I've been in this situation more than enough times now and I've come to realize it's the feeling I love most. Yes, there are many things I worry about, like my family and my aging dog. I worry about my health and making sure my thyroid gets it's needed dosage to stay on target. Everything else can be put aside a bit. But, then I think about coming back after 6 months and coming back to sitting and waiting again. I know I can't do this again. No way.
This last year has affected me negatively because I've felt as if I've had no purpose. I didn't have a goal or direction. Jobs in Austin have been horrendous and I can't see myself here in a office 9 to 5 watching my life dwindle away behind slabs of concrete. I've figure that I'm only happy when I'm out in the world and have access to moving around.
Depending on my life in 6 months, I am keeping the idea of moving abroad to teach English again as an option. Considering I had 3 years experience and then throwing 6 more months in Germany, I believe I could find that as an option. Usually, I would never consider teaching as a career, but teaching abroad is exponentially different than having a classroom in the states. It's a completely different vibe.
I'd be more than happy to live and work abroad in Europe though. I'd love to stay on that side of the world if I had an option, but I know I'm comfortable in Asia as well. I'm learning to live on my own as well. I've always attached myself to a relationship and felt I had to survive having a significant other. The last few years have taught me that others tend to bring on immense pain. I bring my own set of baggage, but it's when the other is welcome to help you carry the other's bags that you've found a good person.
I'm looking forward to growing with myself and starting out like I did almost 5 years ago in Japan. I miss Japan a lot lately. I think it's living and working for myself and having a small group of people that you depend on. This time I get to do this in Europe and find myself there. I seem to thrive when I'm away from Austin. I think it really is time to leave this city behind.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Thriving under pressure
I absolutely love the excitement that happens before planning a long trip or excursion away. I'm a pro at it now considering I've done it multiple times for Japan.
Leaving for Japan felt much more set in the idea that I knew where I was going, what I'd be doing immediately, and that I'd had this set in my mind for a good 3 years before leaving. I had my failed attempt in 2008 with the JET programme, so I had experienced various scenarios of living in Japan. So, in 2010, I was more than prepared for all possibilities.
This is such a different level of excitement.
I have dreamed of Germany and Europe since I was a child. My family is German in heritage and I grew up listening to my great grandmother speak in her heavy accent. I took German in high school (though I was such a bad student), but still held on to the dream of seeing Germany. It's hilarious to me that I ended up on the other side of the world first.
I leave in almost 3 weeks from now to go stay in Germany for 6 months. I am required to travel to Cologne, Berlin, London. Prague, and Vienna for the position I'm taking up. So, my dreams of seeing Europe for more than an extended vacation is coming true. Aaaand in the field I would like to work in. It's a dream come true for me.
After the last few months, it's very much welcome. I have also had amazing job experiences the last couple of months and I really have to say that I love what I do. I thrive under the pressure. I love working in the film and media industry. I hope I can keep in this field that I love and grow with this.
I am so damned excited.
Leaving for Japan felt much more set in the idea that I knew where I was going, what I'd be doing immediately, and that I'd had this set in my mind for a good 3 years before leaving. I had my failed attempt in 2008 with the JET programme, so I had experienced various scenarios of living in Japan. So, in 2010, I was more than prepared for all possibilities.
This is such a different level of excitement.
I have dreamed of Germany and Europe since I was a child. My family is German in heritage and I grew up listening to my great grandmother speak in her heavy accent. I took German in high school (though I was such a bad student), but still held on to the dream of seeing Germany. It's hilarious to me that I ended up on the other side of the world first.
I leave in almost 3 weeks from now to go stay in Germany for 6 months. I am required to travel to Cologne, Berlin, London. Prague, and Vienna for the position I'm taking up. So, my dreams of seeing Europe for more than an extended vacation is coming true. Aaaand in the field I would like to work in. It's a dream come true for me.
After the last few months, it's very much welcome. I have also had amazing job experiences the last couple of months and I really have to say that I love what I do. I thrive under the pressure. I love working in the film and media industry. I hope I can keep in this field that I love and grow with this.
I am so damned excited.
Friday, May 2, 2014
The Next Chapter
The last couple of years have been the hardest I have had in my adult life. I left Japan, I began to understand what it felt like to date again, had a disastrous time with employment, was in a whirlwind romance, and had surgery (twice).
It's been extremely difficult time since I've been home. Though my relationship with R ended after a very intense courting, I found myself jumping feet first into finding employment in the film production field again. I had the amazing opportunity to work on a documentary by the legend Julien Temple. Lugging around 4 teenagers from Ireland during SXSW was probably one of the funnest gigs I have ever had the privilege of doing.
I'd love to write in depth about that experience later. After that, I worked on a TV series for the Discovery channel. I applied to a German paid internship that took about 2 months to go through. I had to create a video in a week to submit to the company for the position. On top of all my credentials, I had to make sure I proved I was capable of the job requirements.
Somehow I luckily landed the job days after a second surgery to take care of what the first did not do. That was extremely scary and I'm glad to be sitting here now typing that I believe and hope that worry is behind me.
I'm really hoping that this begins a new chapter in my life for the better. I would like to keep moving forward and try to stop wallowing in the past. Unfortunate things have happened, but lately, I realize that I've had some amazing opportunities in my life. It's what keeps me going and I hope to continue down that path.
It's been extremely difficult time since I've been home. Though my relationship with R ended after a very intense courting, I found myself jumping feet first into finding employment in the film production field again. I had the amazing opportunity to work on a documentary by the legend Julien Temple. Lugging around 4 teenagers from Ireland during SXSW was probably one of the funnest gigs I have ever had the privilege of doing.
I'd love to write in depth about that experience later. After that, I worked on a TV series for the Discovery channel. I applied to a German paid internship that took about 2 months to go through. I had to create a video in a week to submit to the company for the position. On top of all my credentials, I had to make sure I proved I was capable of the job requirements.
Somehow I luckily landed the job days after a second surgery to take care of what the first did not do. That was extremely scary and I'm glad to be sitting here now typing that I believe and hope that worry is behind me.
I'm really hoping that this begins a new chapter in my life for the better. I would like to keep moving forward and try to stop wallowing in the past. Unfortunate things have happened, but lately, I realize that I've had some amazing opportunities in my life. It's what keeps me going and I hope to continue down that path.
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