Thinking ahead

Realizing I'll be leaving in less than 2 weeks, the real itch is starting to reach all the places I can't scratch. I've been in this situation more than enough times now and I've come to realize it's the feeling I love most. Yes, there are many things I worry about, like my family and my aging dog. I worry about my health and making sure my thyroid gets it's needed dosage to stay on target. Everything else can be put aside a bit. But, then I think about coming back after 6 months and coming back to sitting and waiting again. I know I can't do this again. No way.

This last year has affected me negatively because I've felt as if I've had no purpose. I didn't have a goal or direction. Jobs in Austin have been horrendous and I can't see myself here in a office 9 to 5 watching my life dwindle away behind slabs of concrete. I've figure that I'm only happy when I'm out in the world and have access to moving around.

Depending on my life in 6 months, I am keeping the idea of moving abroad to teach English again as an option. Considering I had 3 years experience and then throwing 6 more months in Germany, I believe I could find that as an option. Usually, I would never consider teaching as a career, but teaching abroad is exponentially different than having a classroom in the states. It's a completely different vibe.

I'd be more than happy to live and work abroad in Europe though. I'd love to stay on that side of the world if I had an option, but I know I'm comfortable in Asia as well. I'm learning to live on my own as well. I've always attached myself to a relationship and felt I had to survive having a significant other. The last few years have taught me that others tend to bring on immense pain. I bring my own set of baggage, but it's when the other is welcome to help you carry the other's bags that you've found a good person.

I'm looking forward to growing with myself and starting out like I did almost 5 years ago in Japan. I miss Japan a lot lately. I think it's living and working for myself and having a small group of people that you depend on. This time I get to do this in Europe and find myself there. I seem to thrive when I'm away from Austin. I think it really is time to leave this city behind.