All in due time

I decided to catch back up on the 365 because even though the catch up images lack in imagination and much effort, it felt like I needed to complete it. It was a goal and I can't be leaving goals just hanging.

I'm not going to bother posting all the images one by one on here so here they are at my flickr:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/g00nie9183/

So, I'm catching all that up and I go back to work tomorrow after a 2 week paid vacation from ECC. Honestly, those 2 weeks were long. It went by fairly fast, yet at the same time, extremely slow. I'm happy to get back to work and I'm sure within a few weeks time, I'll be complaining about needing a break.

I get an MRI on my neck on the 27th because of the numbness in my pinky and ring finger on my left hand. The neurologist believes that has something to do with the nerves in my neck, yet she didn't really approach my back numbness at all. Who knows. I went in originally about my out of control migraines, but somehow was treated for my numb fingers. I hope this isn't a sign of things to come when going to see doctors in Japan.

I'm a bit frustrated with a few things going on in my life and in my own personal struggles. I have these big dreams and wants that conflict with reality. I want to travel to see other parts of the world, but I don't want to do it alone. I want someone else to share it with. A friend, family member, or my boyfriend. Yet, my boyfriend seems content traveling to Canada for his short film that he already traveled there for before, but won't consider traveling to anywhere else to see his girlfriend. I mean, I'd love to see New Zealand. I know he does too. But, is he willing to meet me there? Probably not.

My family is not well off. So, the idea of one of them coming to see me during Christmas probably won't happen.
I'm lonely.
My training group is very split up between the cities, so seeing one another costs someone an amount of money. It also seems that groups who live closer together, obviously hang out together more. It's only logical considering they live within a distance that they don't have to worry about staying out all night or taking the last train home which cuts off around midnight.

Things are taking time to adjust to. A lot of time. It's my first time being on my own. I'm living alone as well as completely alone when it comes to friends within the area. (I mean Kyoto)

This isn't a I'M SO HAPPY I'M IN JAPAN post because it's not. It's reality. I AM happy I'm here, but I'm dealing with the shit that comes with uprooting yourself away from your family and friends to try and do something interesting with your life.
Ugh. I'm tired of writing because I seem to be just rambling and come off more and more negative. I think it has more to do that I just ended a conversation not so positively a bit ago and it's rubbing off in my blog.

So, here's til whenever I write in here again.