Back in the swing of things

I'm already one day in and I feel like I haven't really left. I had my first day back to work today and it went really smoothly and not much is to be said about it.

I am staying the extra three months. It was finally agreed upon with my Personnel coordinator and though she reluctantly agreed, I'll be here until the end of June. I'm not quite sure how it works, but my job gives me 15 vacation days throughout the year. 5 being flexible, the others being fixed. Apparently the whole reason it was frowned upon me doing a 3 month contract was because of this. I have to use all 15 days by June 30th. So, it's like the company is paying me for 3 months of  2.5 months of actual work. I see where they are coming from now. The other thing is that golden week is in May. We get those days off as well and they aren't counted towards the vacation days. So, that adds another at least 5 days of paid days off. So, that's 20 days I get paid for that I'm not working.
I was a bit taken back by it obviously. But, I need to be here those three extra months. I can't come back in April and be financially secure enough to finance a car and look for an apartment. I'm hoping with all my heart that my friend Dan will help me out with the apartment business. He's a realtor now and so if he isn't full on tenants, I'm hoping he will be my landlord. I know he accepts dogs since he owns a Welsh Corgie himself.

I just ordered my GRE study books, but they won't be delivered until April or May! Since they are the 2012 study guides, they haven't been released because the GRE is being rewritten and the books will reflect that. So, in the meantime, I'm checking to see if I should just go ahead and order a 2011 study guide to get me into the flow of it and then when I receive the other books, I can just move on from there.

Well, that being all settled, I'm needing my nerves to stop going crazy. I still feel like I've had 10 cups of coffee when I shouldn't have any reason to feel so on edge. I think it's still residual feelings from my visit home. It's not that I regret coming home because I did get to see and hang out with people I've missed. I didn't get to hang out with a few that I personally regret and wish I would have stopped sulking and made time for them. But, I'm going through what people call what is closest to a death. It is in a way a death. My friend Avery said it well. When two people who've been together so long, they start to share a mind and become so accustomed to one another that being together is like breathing. It just happens without thinking. When that breaks apart, your mind goes into shock and in my case, I start to go into a really deep depression and start to act in irrational ways. It's like my mind can't handle the burden of the mourning and the eventual future of him with someone else.
The visit home was a challenge.

But, I'm back in Japan now and will be until the end of June. If those applied ALP's must be used by the end of June, that probably means that I can find a flight home by June 21st if I wanted. I'm assuming? We'll see. It's a ways off and now I just need to focus on getting my mind in the right place. If I plan to pursue a new relationship down the line, I need to be healthy mind and soul. The last thing I need is to start a new relationship still having the burden of the old one on me. That'll bring 'em in. ha.
Maybe when I'm not looking, something will fall into my lap. You never know. But, I always finding myself crushing on the unattainable guys. The ones who don't give me a second look or they have some model-like girlfriend. Also, getting nearer to my 30's than I want to be, most of these guys are taken anyways. I wish I could be a guy and date a girl 10 years younger without so much as a second thought. It''s not possible for me to do that. Well, obviously not now since I'm 27 and that'd make them 17. UH, gross.

Dating is weird anyways. God, I haven't been on a date in years. I'd think I'd act like a fool. I guess when I decide to enter that world again, things hopefully will be less awkward with age. Probably not.
It just makes me laugh thinking about it.

Oh life, you really throw some punches sometimes. Sometimes a K.O. But, you still gotta get up, brush yourself off, and keep on going.