Back to Japan in exactly 12 hours

I'll be leaving on a jet plane to go back to Japan in exactly 12 hours. Surprisingly, I'm finding myself ready to get back. I think living on my own, being away from the drama that has been non-stop here, and having choices there that I don't have here are making me realize I may like being in Japan more than I thought.
Being single going back over will present me with a lot of new opportunities. Not constantly worrying about getting to my Skype for phone calls, not constantly worrying about a significant other over seas, not feeling guilty for spending all night out with my friends are just a few I can name.
Yeah, the country comes with it's challenges and frustrations, but I think another 6 months (if approved) is going to be just fine. I'm ready to get back to the mountains and see the snow. I can't wait to see my friends Sciby and Britta. I'm looking forward to an 80's night with Tim. Sciby and Britta both leave in March, but I'll have 3 months then to just go ahead and focus on studying on my GRE until I leave on July 1st (again, if approved).
Hopefully my friend Yoshi I met through my old coworker will be able to come back to his hometown and show me around to all the good bars. Apparently, I've already been to the one that he frequented. If he came to Kyoto just for a bit, I know I'd have a blast hanging with him and his friends.
I'm getting used to going out by myself. I have to honestly. It's nerve wracking especially when you are a shy girl, but I have to push myself out of my comfort zone now.
When I come back to Austin in the summer, I'm hoping to find my own place, find a job to sustain me through school, find a decent used car, and focus on my studies. Since my friend Dan is a realtor, I think he might be able to help me around the 78704/05 area. We'll see how things go. I'm thinking too far ahead in the future. I need to just go ahead and think of my immediate right now.

Right now what's bothering me is leaving Kaya again for another six months. If they decline my request for 3 more months after I explained my situation, then I guess she won't have to wait that long and I'll be back in three months. Either way, I just hope that she is taken good care of. I can trust my grandparents to do that and I can trust when they ask the ex to watch her that he will. But, it's the times in between I'm worried about.

But we survived the first six. I think she'll be ok the next. *knock on wood*

The next six months I am going to do my best to have the out of sight, out of mind method implemented to try and get over this break up. Seeing him these last 2 or so weeks has done worse for my psyche than I thought. Every time I see him, it's a drop in the stomach. The feelings I get when I see him are probably the equivalent of what it feels like to have a panic attack. A panic attack plus the feeling of depression and despair. I'm more than happy to get away and also get away from the fake niceties of "take care" and all that bullshit.

I hope to come home in six months to a different me. Someone happier and feeling more free. Hopefully I won't feel like my life is in tatters as I feel now. Hopefully I will be a bit more mended and can start moving onto my goals that I previously mentioned.

Please 2011. Bring me good things. 2010, you really hurt me and really let me down.